Do you think this is envy?

Do you sometimes think about this life and how sometimes, or should i say most of the time, it doesn't seem fair? Do you sometimes wish you can take over someone else's life? Sometimes, I do. And I am sure that a good number of you out there do the same.

What is the meaning of envy? According to merriam webster, envy is a painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage. Ha...a painful or resentful awareness!?! Then thou shall not possess feelings of envy towards his or her fellow man or woman. I beg to differ. I do not possess any ill feelings towards these people, in fact I complement them, but somewhere inside you kind of want what they have. I guess it comes with that whole thing of never being satisfied with what you have. But it makes me wonder, these people that you look at and secretly wish you were in the shoes, do they ever have the same feelings towards someone else? Or are they simply content and truly believe that their lives are perfect? My friend YA thinks differently, she believes that everyone no matter how perfect their lives may seem have their own share of problems. Okay taking it a step further, what if I said I am willing to take their own share of problems for their perfect lives? Okay maybe that's taking it too far.

I have another friend, gosh do I want what she has! A wonderful hubby and a beautiful as hell kid. Don't get me wrong, I dont want hers in particular. I want mine but I want it all a wonderful husband, lovely kid and families that love each other. Is that too much to ask for? It makes you wonder how she played her cards to end up in that position and then could I go back and play my cards the same way and end up like her. I wish I could. Well, people I don't know but do you think this is envy? I don't think so...I think it is simply wishing for the best in your life.

I pray God hears our prayers and gives us the serenity to accept the things we can't change. AMEN!

First-time blogger: You just have to make a decision and stick to it

What does it take to become a woman really? I often wonder! When can you finally say you are a woman? Do you hit a certain age and then realise that you have just turned into a woman or does society decide for you? How do you know that you have transitioned into a woman? I honestly don't know. My mother always said when you get to 25, you are officially an adult. Someone please rescue my mother from her delusions, the official age in most countries is 18. After all, a close friend of mine got married when she was just 21. But maybe there is a lot of sense in what my mom says, who knows. What do you know at 18? Okay let me take a minute and think back to when I was 18. I believe I was 'transitioning' from high school (sec. school) to University. All excited to be leaving the house and go and run mad on the streets of America. Oh! What dreams I had.... Anyway back to our discussion, what did I really know at 18. I had never had a real relationship, I think I had just kissed a boy! But that was it! So in all honest opinion, I definitely do not think I was an adult at 18, let alone a woman. And might I suggest that there is indeed a difference.

I was thinking about this topic the other day (I must warn you, I think a whole damn lot) and I couldn't come up with an answer. A friend of mine got married in Dec/Jan (I know my friends are getting married all over the place....don't worry another discussion for another day!) in Nigeria and I asked her, how did you know that Mr. ***** (I know I am a sucker for romance) was the one and she said something that I thought was pretty darn cool! See I had been complaining to her about my relationship as always and about the problems my significant other (gosh, I hate that phrase) and I were facing. And do you know what she said, "you just have to make a decision and stick to it." It felt like a rude awakening for me. There you have it! Interestingly, I began to look at my friend in a different light after she made that comment. I didn't see her as that kid that used to jump down from the top bunk when the morning bell in boarding house was rung or that child that would ask for extra cake and ice-cream during Sunday lunch (you won't understand!)...I saw a woman who knew what she was doing. Not a puppet being twirled around or a follow-follow catching on to the new marrying trend.

I don't think I am a woman yet. I believe it is an individualistic thing. You will know when you are becoming a woman or have transitioned into a woman. Up until now I still saw myself as a child, mummy's girl! I used to think like a child, I get into childish squabbles with my boyfriend, I cry over the littlest things....I could go on and on and I know you don't want to know! Now I am afraid to reveal my age because I don't want you to laugh at me. However, this morning when I woke up, it felt different. I felt like I needed to brush off those childish scales and finally become a DECISIVE, responsible, self-driven, strong, focused, opinionated woman. And ladies and gentlemen, maybe that's what it takes to become a woman - a rude awakening indeed! Maybe I am wrong and have just "misyanned" (for lack of a better word) the entire blogpost! All I know is that, it takes more than physical attributes to become a woman, it takes a whole lot more...

Thanks for listening!